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Author: Optimus Prime

Dinobots Will Save You

I can’t help thinking of the synergistic opportunities of a Dinobots to the rescue scenario in No One Will Save You Too. Too cynical? Neverrrrrr. 30 second elevator ride? Ok. Dude. Imagine….

dinobots vs aliens epic battle

I cower behind my overturned couch as the creepy aliens close in with their freaky mind control slugs. Their telekinetic powers pin me against the wall – I’m doomed! Suddenly, a thunderous robotic roar echoes from outside. The aliens pause, puzzled. CRASH! My front wall explodes as a giant mechanical T-Rex bursts in, Grimlock-style! Behind him, his merry band of Dinobots start smashing aliens left and right.

“Me Grimlock say get nasty hands off human girl!” the dino leader bellows. He whips out his flaming energon sword and skewers one of the alien freaks. Nearby, Slag the Brontosaurus happily stomps aliens into green goo. An alien aims its parasite slug right at me – but swooping Pterodactyl Swoop snatches the slug in midair and crushes it in his beak. “Ptooey! Slug taste nasty!”

Soon the room is filled with smashed alien bits and triumphant Dinobot roars. Grimlock looms over me, grinning his steely T-Rex grin.”Many thanks, oh mighty Dinobots!” our damsel sighs gratefully.

“No problem, puny human!” rumbles Grimlock. “Stupid aliens no match for us!” And with a final dino bark, the Dinobots thump away, in search of their next smashing good time!

So, like, waddyathink?

Dinobot Combiner: Ridiculasaurus

The Dinobot combiner is a concept so brazen in its defiance of both logic and physics, that it can only be described as Ridiculosaurus. This is the realm of the Dinobot Combiner, a creature that combines the ferocity of prehistoric dinosaurs with the technologically advanced, yet often comically impractical, notion of giant robots combining to form an even more gigantic robot. Herein, we shall embark on a journey through the conception, functionality, societal implications, and the indelible legacy left by these titanic amalgamations.

Where From Has That Combiner Come?

dinobots combiner

First, I’ve got to level with you: no such OFC combiner exists. There is a pretty sick-looking toy Dinobot Combiner 5-in1 KO action toy from our good friends at Chingbor that made a nice addition to my dinobot collection. But has our bros at Hasbro done the right thing and put an actual combiner in this universe? Unfortunately no. So in the meantime I’ll enjoy my Chingbor and fantastize about what a Dinobot Combiner might look like.

The origin of the Dinobot Combiner is a tale as old as time, or at least as old as the dreams of kids who learned of dinosaurs and robots. Born from the feverish dreams of toy designers eager to sell two toys for the price of five, these robotic behemoths are a testament to the boundless creativity unleashed when profit meets plastic. The Dinobot Combiner stands as a monument to the philosophy of “more is more,” a creature that combines the awe-inspiring power of dinosaurs – creatures already synonymous with might and majesty – with the universal childhood fantasy of robots combining into bigger robots.

Dinobot Combining: Alechemy or Science?

dinobot combiner

At its core, the concept of the Dinobot Combiner is straightforward: take several autonomous, powerful, and fiercely independent robotic dinosaurs and merge them into a singular, even more powerful entity. The mechanics of this transformation are a closely guarded secret, known only to those with a PhD in Cybertronian engineering or a vivid imagination. Each Dinobot, a formidable force in its own right, must perform a delicate dance of unfolding, refolding, and locking into place, often defying the laws of physics and several patents in the process.

The result is a behemoth that walks the fine line between awe-inspiring and utterly perplexing. Questions abound: How does combining increase power output? Is there a central consciousness, or is it a committee decision-making process? And most importantly, who gets to control the arms? These are the questions that keep scholars and fans alike up at night, pondering the existential implications of robotic combination.

Dinobots Mirror Our Collective Psyche

The Dinobot Combiner is not merely a towering colossus of metal and ancient reptilian might; it is a mirror reflecting our society’s deepest desires and fears. In its towering form, we see the embodiment of unity and strength, a beacon of hope that by coming together, we can become more than the sum of our parts. Yet, there is also a cautionary tale woven into its very essence, a warning of the chaos and confusion that can arise when individuality is lost in the pursuit of greater power.

This duality speaks to the heart of the human condition, embodying our eternal struggle between the pursuit of personal autonomy and the need for communal cooperation. The Dinobot Combiner, with its combination of disparate beings into a single entity, challenges us to consider the balance between these two forces, all while trying not to trip over its own feet.

The Dinobot Combiner in Pop Culture

The legacy of the Dinobot Combiner stretches far beyond the confines of the Transformers universe. It has become a cultural icon, a symbol of the limitless potential of imagination and the enduring appeal of dinosaurs and robots. Its influence can be seen in various forms of media, inspiring a generation of creators to explore the themes of unity, diversity, and the complexities of combining different entities into a cohesive whole.

Moreover, the Dinobot Combiner has left an indelible mark on the toy industry, setting the gold standard for what a combiner set should be. It challenges manufacturers to push the boundaries of engineering and design, all while ensuring that the final product can withstand the enthusiastic play of children and the critical scrutiny of collectors.

In the end, the Dinobot Combiner stands as a testament to the human spirit’s boundless creativity and our enduring fascination with the idea of transformation and unity. It combines the primal allure of dinosaurs with the futuristic intrigue of robots, wrapped in the enigmatic process of combination. While it may raise more questions than it answers, the Dinobot Combiner remains a beloved curiosity, a quirky fusion of prehistoric power and modern woe that continues to captivate and inspire. In the world of Transformers, it proves that sometimes, the whole really can be greater – and more bewildering – than the sum of its parts.

Dinobots: Prehistoric Party Bots

The Dinobots. Just saying their name conjures images of a wrecking crew of robotic reptiles, ripping and smashing anything foolish enough to stand in their path. Brains? Who needs brains when you’ve got energy swords, dino fangs and some good ol’ fashioned smash-o-rama strength?

dinobots transformers

While Dinobot origins vary across the many confusing Transformers timelines (seriously, even a master archivist like Optimus Primal would struggle to keep it all straight!), they all share a couple common threads. A few things you can always count on (aside from property damage bills) is the Dinobots getting created on Earth, using fossilized dinos or prehistoric creatures as templates, and Grimlock emerging as the team’s fearsome (but thick-skulled) leader.

Grimlock’s a T-Rex who manages to be even more hard-headed and temperamental than your average giant carnivorous dinosaur robot. His speeches consist mostly of “Me Grimlock”, “kick butt”, and variations thereof when not expressed through violent tantrums. Grimlock makes up for his limited vocabulary in sheer power and combat prowess…he didn’t earn the rank of Dinobot King by collecting Energon stickers! Though he also didn’t earn it through intelligence either. Wheeljack often wonders if he should’ve installed brain modules instead of anti-matter cannons inside Grimlock’s thick metal skull.

And Grimlock would’ve stayed king too after defeating Scorponok, if not for that pesky time warp sending him and his Dinobot cronies into Earth’s past (and damaging their brains like dropping smartphones with no cases). Nothing like primitive Generation 1 computer brains to downgrade a bot’s combat analytical ratings from ‘advanced’ to just ‘SMASH!’. Still, despite now having all the smarts of a brick and worse impulse control than Wreck-Gar on an energon sugar high, Grimlock’s savage strength proves vital in battling oncoming waves of Insecticons, evil clones, and occasional misplaced time portals (just another Tuesday for the Autobots).

While Grimlock hogs much of the leadership and limelight, the remaining Dinobots form quite the cast of supporting metal mesozoic misfits. Take his self-professed mentor, Snarl – an irritable bot with stegosaurus stylings who actually predates Grimlock and once led fellow Dinobots back on Cybertron. So what landed Snarl playing second fiddle? If you guessed some spellbinding speech or combat trial, you clearly haven’t met Snarl. Grimlock got annoyed by his grumpy attitude and literally head-butted him into submission for leadership. Much more a Dinobot’s style!

Despite Snarl’s advisory status among Dinobots (often ignored), he seems to enjoy his role as grumpy vet. Anytime Grimlock’s plans get too aggressively idiotic, Snarl simply responds with his signature eye roll and sigh. As if dealing with a dense Dinokid who just won’t listen. Of course, Snarl would never actually correct Grimlock’s behavior. Not after that first headache…er, headbutt.

Then you’ve got adorable delinquent Triceraton, Sludge. While lacking advanced cognitive circuits, Sludge makes up for it through earnest enthusiasm for the Dinobot cause. Need someone to crash a Decepticon tower, no questions asked? Call Sludge! Conveniently, asking questions requires too much effort for the big lug anyhow. Just point and say smash! Though Sludge does get along swell with his fellow Dinobots, especially younger bro Swoop. Almost like kids whose idea of fun is seeing what happens when you stomp X number of buildings.

Speaking of stomping prowess, Brontosaurus bot Slag might be the most quintessential Dinobot of the bunch (yes even over Grimlock!). Built for mayhem and charging into enemies at blinding speed, Slag aptly transforms into a force of nature on two legs. Small things like tactics, ethics, damages costs are spared for the other Autobots’ worrying circuits. Slag? He runs full speed, flame breath blasting away without a care. Tell him to stop and your pleas will fall on deaf audio receptors or get ya roasted! In many ways he’s what you’d expect from a giant ancient alien robot dinosaur – pure chaos bottled up in metal and muscle fibers.

Last but not least, you’ve got Swoop, the Dinobots’ resident flyer…who happens to transform into a pterodactyl rather than a more accurate pteranodon. But what he lacks in paleontological accuracy, Swoop makes up through youthful charm! He’s eager to spread his wings in battle among friends, especially idol Grimlock. Getting to trash Decepticons AND hang with the cool Dinobot kids? Swoop really scored big when Wheeljack stumbled on recipes for robo raptors! Sure he’s still working on complex sentences, but the other Dinobots don’t mind. Less talk, more table-flipping rides around the Ark!

Transformers Dinobots : Dumb But Loyal

To Transformers, Dinobots are a mechanistic and pragmatic plot device without a ton of thought as to how they came to be, and why they persist. Be that as it may, they have their place, though that place is quite a bit lower in status than the rest of the Transformers. You can think of them Dinobots as something like a pack of wild dogs: aggressive and largely free, but ultimately loyal to an alpha – Optimus Prime in this case.

transformers dinobots

To understand the purpose of Dinobots within the Transformers lore, it’s essential to explore their origin, characteristics, roles, and significance in the broader narrative of the Transformers universe. The Dinobots are a group of unique and powerful Autobots, known for their dinosaur alt modes and a more rebellious and free-spirited nature compared to their Autobot counterparts.

With their dinosaur alternate forms and a penchant for raw power, the Dinobots stand out not only for their formidable presence on the battlefield but also for their unique philosophy and approach to the Autobot cause. Their introduction into the Transformers lore brought a new dimension to the ongoing battle between Autobots and Decepticons, showcasing the diversity and complexity within the ranks of the Transformers.

The Dinobots were created by the Autobots in most continuities, either on Earth or Cybertron, to bolster their ranks with powerful warriors inspired by Earth’s prehistoric creatures. Their creation often involved the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime, and the genius engineer, Wheeljack, who saw the potential in creating a group of Transformers that could challenge the might of the Decepticons in raw power. The choice of dinosaur forms was influenced by the strength and ferocity these creatures represented, making the Dinobots formidable opponents in combat.

Dinobots Are Savage, But Loyal

Characterized by their strength, courage, and sometimes unruly behavior, the Dinobots are a force to be reckoned with. Each member, from the leader Grimlock to others like Slag, Sludge, Snarl, and Swoop, possesses unique abilities and a dinosaur mode that gives them an edge in battle. However, their intelligence is often depicted as lower than that of other Autobots, leading to a more primal and instinct-driven approach to problems. Despite this, their loyalty to the Autobot cause and their comrades is unwavering, making them invaluable allies.

In the Transformers universe, the Dinobots serve multiple roles. Their primary function is as shock troops, spearheading assaults and acting as a powerful deterrent against Decepticon threats. Their sheer power and ferocity often turn the tide of battles in favor of the Autobots. Beyond their combat role, the Dinobots also embody the theme of individuality within the Transformers narrative. They often operate independently of Autobot command, showcasing a different perspective on the Autobot mission and the methods by which it can be achieved.

Their storylines explore themes of loyalty, strength, and what it means to be a hero, contributing depth to the overall narrative. The Dinobots challenge the notion that might alone cannot make right but also illustrate the importance of strength when wielded with honor and purpose.

Transformers and Dinobots’ Significance

The Dinobots’ significance in Transformers lore extends beyond their battlefield contributions. They represent the diversity of thought and approach within the Autobot ranks, highlighting the complexity of the Transformers universe and its characters. Their appeal lies in their brute strength, distinct personalities, and the dynamic they bring to the Autobot-Decepticon conflict.

Their legacy is evident in their continued popularity among fans, contributing to their presence across various Transformers media, including comics, animated series, and movies. The Dinobots have become emblematic of the courage, resilience, and sometimes the rebellious spirit necessary to face formidable challenges, resonating with audiences and enriching the Transformers narrative.

The Dinobots, with their unique blend of power, personality, and loyalty, play a crucial role in the Transformers universe. Their creation, characteristics, and roles underline the diversity and complexity of the Transformers saga, offering lessons in strength, individuality, and honor. As one of the most beloved and iconic groups within the Transformers lore, the Dinobots’ legacy continues to inspire and captivate, showcasing the enduring appeal of these free-spirited warriors in the ongoing battle between good and evil.

Transformers 4 Age Of Extinction

dinobots

Went to see Transformers 4: Age of Extinction last night. Walked out after the Irish rally driver boyfriend cracked his wheel rim doing “that thing” where he drove his car out of a 4th story factory door and landed it on an inexplicably perfectly situated ramp like he was Shaun White at the X games (plus two aggregate tons of inflexible and insensible rubber steel and plastic).

The new Transformers movie strains believability like Mark Wahlberg’s t-shirts strain at his calf-sized biceps (and yes, I do mean the baby cow). Please understand: I do not pick nits when it comes to action movies. I will ignore all sorts of brawny monosyllabic misogyny in the name of awesome explosions, wickedbad fisticuffs, and/or (as in the case of the Transformers franchise), ultra-violent mechanical ballets seasoned with a healthy dollop of robot apocalypse thrown in (to taste).

Nor do I blanch from the limitless possibilities of science fiction: I will abandon this reality for an alternate one at the slightest indication that it will take me in its teeth and rip into me a bit. E.G. to wit: I am a member of the paying audience at a movie about an advanced race of alien robots that feel that the best use of their creative energies is to transform into various present-day models of a 20th century mode of internal-combustion transportation.

Plus, it’s not like I had something important to do waiting for me when I got home.

But when the backstory idiocies pile up in such hyper-fast fashion one on top of another on top of another with no break, I start to worry that the people who made this movie made it with contempt, their indifference to the gift of my attention, their laziness, their callous lack of concern for my $12 ticket, and the time it took to drive down there, and the guy looking back over his seat and smiling in the dark to whisper to me that it would be okay if I wanted to rest my leg on the seat there (next to him), their calling it cocktail hour at 11am* and banking on my gullible willingness to swallow down this pap because it’s 4th in a dynasty, or because it’s made by the trusted Bay brand, or because it’s about robots with relatable personalities and that makes me feel like the future is less scary, whatever it is they think lets them off the hook of making a movie with love and care and attention and precision, whatever that is, I start to worry that they don’t really care about me. And that hurts my feelings.

And that’s when I make like a banana and split.

So I walked right out of there (and passed my smile-in-the-dark guy on his way back from his 3rd trip to the bathroom, who let me know that he “had that package” when I came back) and got in my car and drove home and watched The Raid 2, which handily satisfied my deep craving for abovementioned explosions and fisticuffs.

T4 is too dark for kids (a best friend gets incinerated 10 minutes in), and too stupid for grown-ups (see duh list below). The action sequences are fair to awesome, and Titus Welliver’s black-ops Savoy was a dry piece of villain with some gorgeous blu-blocker sunglasses, but alas, none of that was enough to save me from walking running.

If you’re looking for specifics, I submit as evidence this stack of stupidities from the first 15 minutes:

  • Fantasy: An Irish rally car driver just out of high school and sponsored by Red Bull and dating an overprotected 17-yr-old girl 3 years his junior who lives miles from civilization.
    Fact: No Irishman would ever move to Texas.
  • Fantasy: A grown man develops a savior/saved relationship with a semi-truck.
    Fact: Trucker Culture peaked in the 70s.
  • Fantasy: Mark Wahlberg is an inventor/intellectual.
    Fact: Two. Words: Beefcake.
  • Fantasy: A 21yr-old Irishman drives his car up a ramp out of a high-floor factory window and lands it on another ramp 40 feet below.
    Fact: Huh huh. He said “ramp”.
  • Fantasy: The nymphette daughter, whose chest bounds over her bra and nuzzles at her camisole under her semi-transparent shirt…
    Fact:…serves literally no purpose other than to distract our eyes away from all the abovementioned unpalatable Fantasies.
  • et cetera, et cetera.

To be fair, she exists to establish the backstory, but that backstory was thrown together so shoddily that like an enormous hole in the radiator, it blew the hot air of the story all over the road and left it for dead.

I swear if this doesn’t kill the franchise I don’t know what will. The leaked internal ToysR Us Memo says there are 2 more films in the pipeline, but I’ll stake my (absolute lack of a) reputation on no Transformers 5 any time in the next decade, at least until they figure out how to start fresh again.

Am I way off base? Should I have stuck it out? Was there something I missed? Comment below and let me know, and be sure to make your vote count in the poll below.

What did you think of Transformers 4 Age of Exinction

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* the guy who called cocktail hour at 11am in Edge of Tomorrow, i.e. the fat man who celebrated that “we made it, we made it!” was the first in the movie to die.

It’s a (Grim)Lock: Dinobots Confirmed For Transformers 4: Age Of Extinction

In retrospect, we can all say we saw it coming. I mean, seriously, how long can we – an audience of attention-deficient explosion junkies – gawk at at that robotic ballet spinning pirouettes of mayhem and wreaking titanium destruction without refreshing the flagging serial with a brand-new beefcake, not to mention a whole slew of prehistorically-modelled dinobots?.

dinobots transformers 4

But the vast chorus of “I knew it”s was finally launched by a confirmation this week, first in the form of Marc Wahlberg’s titillating dissembling, followed by the real deal, from a Beijing News (via Empire) interview with ‘Age’s producer Lorenzo di Bonaventura. Like this: “I can not disclose the specifics, but you can be sure that the arrival of the Dinobots will give the audience a lot to be excited about.”

If you can trust the translation and source (Beijing?), and blissfully ignore the lack of specifics, then what we have right there folks is an incontrovertible confirmation. Dinobots will be making an appearance in Transformers: Age of Extinction, scheduled to release June 27, 2014.

Do I hear the rustlings of twenty-million Dinobot fans making ready to leave their lairs in anticipation if the release date? That is, will the appearance of a popular Transformer subset with a stably and loyal fan base be enough to revitalize a dwindling audience? Let’s hope so, for fans who’d like to see Michael Bay bring it again and again and again.

Not to mention the storyline complexity that will ensue: a chapter of “When Dinobots” Attack” will inject a refreshing bit of ambiguity into an otherwise overwhelmingly black and white moral universe. Are they good? Are they evil? Are they biological? What does a mechanical dinosaur look like? That sounds like a question for Kool Keith if I ever heard one (links to video).

Let’s hope that dinosaur isn’t just another meat pushed through the summer blockbuster grinder, sacrificed for the sake of bucks and butts in seats and butter in buckets.

What do you all think?

Will Dinobots be the kick in the pants the Transformers franchise needs?

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