Dinobots: Prehistoric Party Bots

The Dinobots. Just saying their name conjures images of a wrecking crew of robotic reptiles, ripping and smashing anything foolish enough to stand in their path. Brains? Who needs brains when you’ve got energy swords, dino fangs and some good ol’ fashioned smash-o-rama strength?

While Dinobot origins vary across the many confusing Transformers timelines (seriously, even a master archivist like Optimus Primal would struggle to keep it all straight!), they all share a couple common threads. A few things you can always count on (aside from property damage bills) is the Dinobots getting created on Earth, using fossilized dinos or prehistoric creatures as templates, and Grimlock emerging as the team’s fearsome (but thick-skulled) leader.

Grimlock’s a T-Rex who manages to be even more hard-headed and temperamental than your average giant carnivorous dinosaur robot. His speeches consist mostly of “Me Grimlock”, “kick butt”, and variations thereof when not expressed through violent tantrums. Grimlock makes up for his limited vocabulary in sheer power and combat prowess…he didn’t earn the rank of Dinobot King by collecting Energon stickers! Though he also didn’t earn it through intelligence either. Wheeljack often wonders if he should’ve installed brain modules instead of anti-matter cannons inside Grimlock’s thick metal skull.

And Grimlock would’ve stayed king too after defeating Scorponok, if not for that pesky time warp sending him and his Dinobot cronies into Earth’s past (and damaging their brains like dropping smartphones with no cases). Nothing like primitive Generation 1 computer brains to downgrade a bot’s combat analytical ratings from ‘advanced’ to just ‘SMASH!’. Still, despite now having all the smarts of a brick and worse impulse control than Wreck-Gar on an energon sugar high, Grimlock’s savage strength proves vital in battling oncoming waves of Insecticons, evil clones, and occasional misplaced time portals (just another Tuesday for the Autobots).

While Grimlock hogs much of the leadership and limelight, the remaining Dinobots form quite the cast of supporting metal mesozoic misfits. Take his self-professed mentor, Snarl – an irritable bot with stegosaurus stylings who actually predates Grimlock and once led fellow Dinobots back on Cybertron. So what landed Snarl playing second fiddle? If you guessed some spellbinding speech or combat trial, you clearly haven’t met Snarl. Grimlock got annoyed by his grumpy attitude and literally head-butted him into submission for leadership. Much more a Dinobot’s style!

Despite Snarl’s advisory status among Dinobots (often ignored), he seems to enjoy his role as grumpy vet. Anytime Grimlock’s plans get too aggressively idiotic, Snarl simply responds with his signature eye roll and sigh. As if dealing with a dense Dinokid who just won’t listen. Of course, Snarl would never actually correct Grimlock’s behavior. Not after that first headache…er, headbutt.

Then you’ve got adorable delinquent Triceraton, Sludge. While lacking advanced cognitive circuits, Sludge makes up for it through earnest enthusiasm for the Dinobot cause. Need someone to crash a Decepticon tower, no questions asked? Call Sludge! Conveniently, asking questions requires too much effort for the big lug anyhow. Just point and say smash! Though Sludge does get along swell with his fellow Dinobots, especially younger bro Swoop. Almost like kids whose idea of fun is seeing what happens when you stomp X number of buildings.

Speaking of stomping prowess, Brontosaurus bot Slag might be the most quintessential Dinobot of the bunch (yes even over Grimlock!). Built for mayhem and charging into enemies at blinding speed, Slag aptly transforms into a force of nature on two legs. Small things like tactics, ethics, damages costs are spared for the other Autobots’ worrying circuits. Slag? He runs full speed, flame breath blasting away without a care. Tell him to stop and your pleas will fall on deaf audio receptors or get ya roasted! In many ways he’s what you’d expect from a giant ancient alien robot dinosaur – pure chaos bottled up in metal and muscle fibers.

Last but not least, you’ve got Swoop, the Dinobots’ resident flyer…who happens to transform into a pterodactyl rather than a more accurate pteranodon. But what he lacks in paleontological accuracy, Swoop makes up through youthful charm! He’s eager to spread his wings in battle among friends, especially idol Grimlock. Getting to trash Decepticons AND hang with the cool Dinobot kids? Swoop really scored big when Wheeljack stumbled on recipes for robo raptors! Sure he’s still working on complex sentences, but the other Dinobots don’t mind. Less talk, more table-flipping rides around the Ark!